Missio Colonia | Kevin and Kathi in Cologne, Germany

Here's an entry from my journal from today. I thought it might be encouraging:

So, after a long pause, I picked up my Greek to study some Ephesians again, and it brought such light on my current need for spiritual softening of the heart. I've been stuck on chapter 1 verses 15-17. It's the thanksgiving prayer that Paul gives following the amazing eulogy at the beginning of the letter. Paul's concern here is that the readers appropriate all of the spiritual blessings that are described in the eulogy. The emphasis isn't that these believers somehow obtain anew these mind-boggling blessings, but that they would have knowledge and revelation to see the blessings they already have in the spiritual realm. And there's the rub. Every beautiful and wonderful gift from above is secured for us in the heavenlies for all eternity. So, why doesn't my experience match with this truth so frequently? So often, as has been the case recently, I feel beaten, victory-less, and far from God's heart. Surely there's probably many reasons, but I'm seeing that the greatest battle in the Christian life is the fight of faith.

In his thanksgiving, Paul lets me know that he's praying that I would have the "Spirit of wisdom and revelation" that I might know God and all of the blessing I have as a son better. This doesn't change. But, our faith in and understanding of these things ebb and flow like the tides. My battle is a daily fight to believe and grab a hold of everything that God says is true about me. I am loved. I am a son. He is my gracious and protective and loving Father.

I've always asked myself, how different would my life be if I truly knew how much God loved me? Well, it seems now that it wouldn't be any easier than it is now. I would still face temptations, and I would wrestle with the world, the flesh, and the devil. But, there would be a constant stream of peace, hope, love, and joy flowing through me. Therefore, fighting the fight of faith is to pray moment by moment that God would be enlightening my spiritual eyes to see and believe everything that is now true of me in Christ. Sounds easy, eh? By God's grace alone, that is for sure.